Friday, March 30, 2012

25 Ways to Enjoy Oatmeal

  • maple syrup
  • cinnamon & raisons
  • brown sugar & cream
  • nuts & honey
  • Greek yoghurt & berries
  • ground flax & strawberries
  • chopped walnuts & raisons
  • peanut butter & banana slices
  • chocolate chips
  • cooked with apple chunks & cinnamon
  • dried cranberries & almond slivers
  • chopped walnuts & maple syrup
  • shredded coconut & coconut milk
  • cooked in apple juice
  • Nutella
  • a dollop jam on top
  • scrambled egg and bacon pieces
  • sliced nectarines or peaches
  • blueberries & cottage cheese
  • cocoa powder
  • butter, sea-salt and pepper
  • blackstrap molasses
  • put a handful of frozen raspberries at the bottom of the bowl -they'll thaw and within minutes
  •  pumpkin puree, nutmeg & chopped dates
  • a few chunks of tomato, a sprinkling of cheese and an egg sunny-side up!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Raising Healthy Girls

My almost 4 year old stands in front of the mirror with her face twisted into a scowl. "I don't like it; it's sticking up." I'm trying to put her hair into a ponytail but I'm failing to get it just right and we are both losing patience. Two days later I'm tidying up in the bathroom and my two year old comes in and starts to admire herself in the full-length mirror. "I tute (cute)," she says. "I pity (pretty)." Wow. She's obviously modeling behaviour she's observed in her older sister but I'm a little overwhelmed by all this fascination with appearance. These girls are only 2 and 3 and I'm already feeling it necessary to protect their little minds from the perverted, insidious messages girls receive about the importance of looking good.

And I'm guilty too. I have to be very conscious of the words I choose when I meet a little girl, because the obvious icebreaker is to compliment them on their cute dress or pretty pigtails. We do this with the best of intentions -to build up their self-esteem, but unfortunately it appears to have the opposite effect. When we praise children for these external things we are sending them very strong messages about where their value lies. For example, research shows that children who are praised frequently for being smart become very afraid of mistakes and are more likely to avoid challenging tasks, showing a clear preference for tasks they easily excel in. As well, they are more likely to cheat on exams. Their value as people is wrapped up in maintaining the appearance of intelligence. In contrast, children who are praised for working hard and persevering regardless of the outcome are more likely to enjoy the process, admit mistakes and challenge themselves.

So what does this mean for little girls? We don't overtly tell them that society values pretty girls more, but that is the exact message the are receiving. In the run of a day these little girls hear more references to their looks, hair and clothes than any other quality. "Well aren't you just the picture of cute?" says a cashier. "That's a pretty dress you're wearing Maisie," says a mom at play group. Now, I don't intentionally dress my kids up in cute clothes, but let me tell you, they could be dressed in paper bags and still get compliments. Little girls are cute!

The challenge for me as a mother is to counterbalance all that cute talk with very intentional conversations and observations about things that really matter. I need to instill in my daughters a sense of inner-beauty that outweighs all these outer-beauty messages. I am heart sick when I see advertisements for shows like "Toddlers in Tiaras" and watch once carefree girls become completely obsessed with their appearance. In this age of celebrity young women are marketed like commodities and that pressure to be the "total package" gets transfered onto society in general. We can pay lip service to inner-beauty until we are blue in the face but our actions will always betray us. I need to be very careful about the t.v. shows I let my girls watch and the books they read. If we come across something that has a questionable message I need to bring that to their attention and allow it to spark conversation -on their level of course! I realize they are very young, but as a mother, it's part of my job to teach them critical thinking skills.

I want my girls to grow up with a healthy perspective of their bodies. I want them to have an appreciation for their unique God-given features and talents but not to make idols of their bodies by paying excessive attention or seeking admiration and approval from others. And, as time goes on, I want them to be able to recognize the sexual objectification of women's bodies for what it is -toxic. That goal is so clear, but the day-to-day choices that lead to that goal are overwhelming. For example, Maisie loves everything princess, nail polish and dresses. Do I deny her these things? I'm fairly certain that banning them would only lead to greater problems, but how do I allow her to express her girlhood without endorsing these products? Developmentally, she is at an age where she has become very aware of the differences between girls and boys and wants to express her girlness to the extreme. It's not helpful for me to suppress that desire, she's in the process of forming her identity and being female is a big part of that.

So, for now, we play princess and I do my best to counterbalance all that pink, fluffy stuff with lots of other imaginary play -like being a doctor or pirate or superhero. I know I won't do this parenting thing perfectly, heck I've failed miserably many times already, but I keep picking up the pieces and moving forward inch by inch, trying desperately to build a better future for these girls.

(Click here to read the inspiration behind this blog post.)

Friday, February 10, 2012

Final Thoughts About England

My England travel log ended kind of abruptly so I thought I'd share some post-trip thoughts. We arrived back in Canada just before midnight on January 1st.

(Oh, and to back this story up a bit, I might add, I was not prepared for the fireworks and Chinese lanterns that decorated the sky as the new year was celebrated in England. In PEI, it's illegal for individuals to set off their own fireworks, and although it does happen you never have several big displays of fireworks happening directly over neighbourhood houses that are crammed side-by-side. My immediate thought (after jumping out of my slumber and realizing it wasn't bombs being dropped) was just how safe is this? I had visions of inexperienced drunks setting off fireworks in the gardens around us. And the Chinese lanterns? Well, they were pretty but I was relieved not to be in a thatched house. I really must be getting old.)

Anyway, I digress.

The trip back to PEI was pretty brutal. It was almost a full 24 hours of travel from door to door. I'd have to guess that making that trip too often with small kids would probably decrease your life expectancy by a few years. It was that stressful and exhausting. Our bed never looked so good. In fact, as much as I loved our time in England, it was very sweet to be home.

During my time in England I kept some notes on a few of the differences I observed between life in England and life in PEI. Here they are:

We’ve been quite comfortable here in the house but some things have taken a little getting used to on my part. For starters, the fridge here is tiny. When I first visited the UK in 2007 I was surprised by how small the fridges and ovens are in many homes. Also, it’s common to have a front-loading washer installed under a kitchen counter while dryers are rare. I have yet to see a laundry room or a home with a basement. Actually, Paul tells me in over 40 years of living in England he’s never seen a laundry room or a home with a basement. Anyway, we need to shop more often because it’s impossible to stock up on fresh food and we hang our clothes to dry on a rack overnight. Without a dryer I might be forced to iron for the first time in years!

The entire fridge! (The freezer is in the door below.)

Some homes have the toilet in a little closet-sized room (called a water closet) while the bath and sink (but no toilet) are in a separate room. Another unusual thing about bathrooms in the UK is that the light switch is operated by a cord hanging from the ceiling. I suppose it’s a safety feature but I’ve never heard of anyone suffering a shock from a bathroom light switch! Tubs are generally narrower and deeper here.

Sorry Theresa, I'm putting your loo on the net.

Open concept homes are less common. The kitchen may be behind closed doors and it’s not unusual to also have doors in the hallway separating the living space from the bedrooms. (I don't know how, but I think the fact that the English hardly heat their homes and this fact are connected. Us Canadians like to be toasty warm. The homes I visited were all a little cool.) Driveways and garages are often tiny and the houses are very close together by North American standards. Actually, the average family home is significantly smaller here. Two bedroom homes are quite common. Even the bedrooms would be considered very small –some are hardly big enough to fit a single bed and small dresser. Closets are hard to come by but wardrobes, sometimes huge, are common. Of course I’m just stating what I’ve seen and I’m sure there are plenty of large homes with open concepts, big bedrooms and closest –I just haven’t been in one yet! Most houses are built with brick not timber and I don’t think I’ve seen a deck since I got here but stone work is everywhere and most patios consist of stone slabs laid into the ground. 

One heck of a wardrobe. This was Paul's parents' bedroom.

The neighbourhoods are very well kept. The English obviously love gardening! It’s so pretty and green. Huge trees hundreds of years old are everywhere and hedges rather than fences provide privacy between many homes. And there are palm trees here if you can believe it! I used to think palm trees could only survive in tropical areas but apparently the climate is mild enough for them. 

Quite the entrance eh?



Of course there is the obvious difference of driving on the opposite side, but you’ll also be amazed by the number of roundabouts, lack of pickup trucks and roads that curve and snake through villages with stone walls and/or high hedges on either side. Sometimes I find myself taking a deep breath as we squeeze by another car on the road.

Yes, this is a two-way!

Love them walls.

A word about words: if you say pants in England people will think you’re talking about your underwear –pants are always called trousers over here. A back yard is a garden, an oven is a cooker, pop is a fizzy drink, a cookie is a biscuit, a truck is a lorry and candy is always called sweets. Rainboots are wellies, a sweater is a jumper and the toilet is the loo. A parking lot is a car park, a car trunk is a boot, a flashlight is a torch, an elevator is a lift. Fries are always called chips and chips are called crisps. Diapers are called nappies and strollers are called pushchairs. Costume parties are called fancy dress parties and Santa Claus is more commonly called Father Christmas.

As a final note, I want to mention how much I love the New Forest. (Which isn't new at all!) It's a really special place to visit. You won’t find big supermarkets, malls, gas stations or department stores but you will find the gorgeous English countryside, small villages, pubs, cottages and plenty of animals: deer, cattle, donkeys, badgers, foxes, rabbits, pigs and plenty of ponies (there are several thousand in there!) all roaming wild. People put cattle grids in their driveways to keep the ponies and other animals off their property.

The New Forest. Can you see the pony?

Cattle grid to keep animals out!

Thatched cottage. You think Hansel and Gretel live here?

Yeah, England kinda rocks.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

England Travel Log VII

Thursday, December 22

Paul’s brother Chris rang up today and asked if we’d like to take the girls to a nearby park. He showed up about an hour later and we followed him to a great little park just 5 minutes away. The girls had lots of fun playing with their cousin Thea again.



Christmas Day

Christmas is magical again. This is the first year that Maisie is really able to understand what Christmas is all about. I had a blast teaching the girls Christmas songs and telling stories about everything from Rudolph to baby Jesus. Seeing their excitement on Christmas morning was so precious. Maisie pointed out that Santa has the same wrapping paper as me!

The girls spent the morning playing with their new toys then shortly after 1:00 we went over to Pete and Theresa’s for dinner. And what a dinner it was! I have never seen so much food for a Christmas spread in all my life. There were even 6 different desserts to choose from. We were all given some lovely gifts and shortly after 6:00 more company arrived (and more food was brought out!). It was after 8:00 before we put the girls in the car and headed “home.”


Playing on Theresa's "rocking pig!"


Boxing Day

We took a short stroll around Hengistbury Head today. The fields and beach were packed with families and dog walkers but it was far too cold for us to stay very long. There is a really cute little train that will transport people to the beach and back.









Tuesday, December 27

We met up with Matt, Gemma, Oscar and Mike at Lepe Beach this afternoon. After a short walk and letting the kids play in the playground for a little bit we got in our cars and drove to Matt and Gemma’s place for some lunch. Good stuff!







Photo of Matt taken by Maisie

Photo of Gemma taken by Maisie

Wednesday, December 28

After a gorgeous two hour drive through the rolling English countryside and several quaint villages we arrived at Bernard and Jo’s home in Exmouth. Bernard is Paul’s cousin and Jo is his wife. I met four of their five children and Bernard’s mother, a very stylish and worldly, Mimi. The kids had a blast playing with Naomi and Patrick, Bernard and Jo’s teens, who had no qualms giving up their entire afternoon to entertain two small children while the adults ate and chatted.


Friday, December 23, 2011

England Travel Log VI

Monday, December 19

Paul’s cousin Bernadette visited us this afternoon. She entered the door with a huge smile, one hand holding a bouquet of flowers and the other carrying a bag full of gifts! She has such a warm energy and generous spirit. We chatted for a few hours and Paul made some sag aloo (an Indian dish) to fill our bellies. The clothes she gave the girls were a big hit. Here’s a photo of Bernadette with Maisie and Kathleen modeling their new outfits.


Wednesday, December 21

Oh what a fun day! We took the girls to Longleat –a gorgeous 16th century mansion that not only has house tours but is surrounded by a safari and adventure park. It’s common for these huge stately homes to offer tours and attractions because they cost an arm and a leg to maintain. Lord Bath, the current owner of Longleat is quite the entrepreneur. He brought lions to the English countryside in the 1970s to attract more visitors and it has grown “wilder” every year since. There is even a television show called Animal Park featuring the animals of Longleat.







The safari has all kinds of animals –giraffes, hippos, camels, lions, elephant, monkeys, zebra and tigers to name a few and there are several areas where you can get out of your car and explore the animals up close. After the safari we explored the adventure park. Among the attractions were the Monkey Temple and Santa Train (a miniature steam locomotive), an outdoor skating rink, a hedge maze, animal holding area, bat cave, the biggest Christmas tree you’ve ever seen and the best park I’ve ever taken the kids to.











Longleat House has a fairytale theme for the Christmas season so we were greeted by all kinds of familiar characters including Maisie’s favourite –Cinderella! The house itself was incredible but we were only able to view a small section of the rooms including the grand foyer, bedrooms, a library, dining room and ballroom. There were also some displays of genuine articles from bygone centuries and paintings throughout the house. It really does seem there is something for everyone at Longleat.






A Scale Model of Longleat House